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I just finished reading 'Holding Up The Universe' by Jennifer Niven. I won't say it's a typical young-adult fiction because I don't really know what is a typical young-adult fiction. Would you say the kinda books written by John Green are typical young-adult fiction? This is the second book I've read by Jennifer Niven, the first one was 'All The Bright Places'. Why am I reading young-adult when I'm hardly one- it made me think of myself when I was in their age, when I was trying so hard to find myself, when I was being stupid and selfish - and wishing even if my environment wasn't like theirs, where mental health in teenagers are taken very seriously - I wished I had these books instead of the sappy chick-lit that I read on a regular basis back then. I read investigation and those dorm high school stories too, like Malory Towers and The Famous Five. Most of the books I read growing up were written by Enid Blyton. I was an avid reader of her short stories series - and maybe why I have a more colourful imagination as compared to other people my age back then. I read Harry Potter religiously too, and played Pokemon. Read a ton of Inuyasha and Ranma 1/2 fan fiction on top of all the anime I watched. If I could describe myself well as a teenager, I'd say I am depressed, self-abusive, and insecure. I had my happy days too though. Peer pressure played a big part that led me there, as well as high expectations from adults. Too bad I didn't see the friendships that I made back then as something precious. I started finding myself when I was in uni I think, and forged proper relationships that is part of the real me. I had more self-confidence and loved myself more than I loved to to be loved by people..
It's 9.30PM on a Saturday, I am sleepy because I have been on night support since 2AM and was not able to sleep much after that but even now, I can't really sleep. Maybe if I close off the lights and actually rested my head, I'd fall asleep.
Work has been okay. I'm on the support team and while it is a lot more pressuring, I am handling it well - so far. Some colleagues have become more than just friends but some stay as acquaintances. That's how it rolls anyway. I'm grateful, and always am for the life that God has given me. Granted in terms of life partner, I haven't been that successful but I am bountiful in other aspects of life. I still have a lot to learn in the area of keeping my temper. I pray that my brothers will get their heads on straight for once and my parents can be more at ease. I feel bad but I am sick and tired of their antics too.
On a side note, finally had a slept over Jie and Zera's with Mel that one night and they brought us to Bukit Ampang. I've always wanted to go there to see the KL skyline and it was gorgeous. We sat there drinking and sharing life stories while evergreen music blasts out from the stalls. KL looked like an artificial milky way and was so small. The stars were twinkling and I felt happy. We went back to their pad, talked nonsense for a while and woke up late. Brunch at our fav Nasi Padang place and later got desserts from Sabrina's Bakery. Crashed at Mel's place for a while to eat our desserts and I thought about how much I wanted to live away from home like them. Not that I wanted to run away from the drama at home, but I just wanted some me time for awhile. Again, maybe I'm being selfish and I just wanted to indulge in nightly activities - but I really wondered how would it be if I had to live away from home. Will it be better? I haven't really been a good daughter, to be honest and I'm disappointed in myself sometimes that I feel like it's much better for them if I am not around.
I know I know I'm depressing. I actually wanted to write about how the book moved me, but all this shit ends up. Haha.
I just finished reading 'Holding Up The Universe' by Jennifer Niven. I won't say it's a typical young-adult fiction because I don't really know what is a typical young-adult fiction. Would you say the kinda books written by John Green are typical young-adult fiction? This is the second book I've read by Jennifer Niven, the first one was 'All The Bright Places'. Why am I reading young-adult when I'm hardly one- it made me think of myself when I was in their age, when I was trying so hard to find myself, when I was being stupid and selfish - and wishing even if my environment wasn't like theirs, where mental health in teenagers are taken very seriously - I wished I had these books instead of the sappy chick-lit that I read on a regular basis back then. I read investigation and those dorm high school stories too, like Malory Towers and The Famous Five. Most of the books I read growing up were written by Enid Blyton. I was an avid reader of her short stories series - and maybe why I have a more colourful imagination as compared to other people my age back then. I read Harry Potter religiously too, and played Pokemon. Read a ton of Inuyasha and Ranma 1/2 fan fiction on top of all the anime I watched. If I could describe myself well as a teenager, I'd say I am depressed, self-abusive, and insecure. I had my happy days too though. Peer pressure played a big part that led me there, as well as high expectations from adults. Too bad I didn't see the friendships that I made back then as something precious. I started finding myself when I was in uni I think, and forged proper relationships that is part of the real me. I had more self-confidence and loved myself more than I loved to to be loved by people..
It's 9.30PM on a Saturday, I am sleepy because I have been on night support since 2AM and was not able to sleep much after that but even now, I can't really sleep. Maybe if I close off the lights and actually rested my head, I'd fall asleep.
Work has been okay. I'm on the support team and while it is a lot more pressuring, I am handling it well - so far. Some colleagues have become more than just friends but some stay as acquaintances. That's how it rolls anyway. I'm grateful, and always am for the life that God has given me. Granted in terms of life partner, I haven't been that successful but I am bountiful in other aspects of life. I still have a lot to learn in the area of keeping my temper. I pray that my brothers will get their heads on straight for once and my parents can be more at ease. I feel bad but I am sick and tired of their antics too.
On a side note, finally had a slept over Jie and Zera's with Mel that one night and they brought us to Bukit Ampang. I've always wanted to go there to see the KL skyline and it was gorgeous. We sat there drinking and sharing life stories while evergreen music blasts out from the stalls. KL looked like an artificial milky way and was so small. The stars were twinkling and I felt happy. We went back to their pad, talked nonsense for a while and woke up late. Brunch at our fav Nasi Padang place and later got desserts from Sabrina's Bakery. Crashed at Mel's place for a while to eat our desserts and I thought about how much I wanted to live away from home like them. Not that I wanted to run away from the drama at home, but I just wanted some me time for awhile. Again, maybe I'm being selfish and I just wanted to indulge in nightly activities - but I really wondered how would it be if I had to live away from home. Will it be better? I haven't really been a good daughter, to be honest and I'm disappointed in myself sometimes that I feel like it's much better for them if I am not around.
I know I know I'm depressing. I actually wanted to write about how the book moved me, but all this shit ends up. Haha.
