.
So, after two years of not doing a presentation in front of a bunch of people, I was told to do one today. Furthermore the module that I am told to present is like, the hardest one - which in my opinion was not exactly the hardest if compared to them seniors modules, but they said mine is the heftiest. Well from the technical side, yes, but in terms of explaining in layman terms to the business side...maybe not so much?
Maybe I'm still half-cooked in this whole thing. Or still raw. Well I do tend to simplify things a lot when I can teehee
Anyway, I was full of nerves and jitters since last night when Danny texted me to say the presentation will be tomorrow- as in, today - and for some reason my heart just wouldn't stop beating hard. Like, super hard. To the extent that it gets hard to breathe and my neck just tenses up like hell cuz the sessions for them seniors were like so hardcore. The explained a little bit and the IT team and business users starts shooting questions here and there. We had 8 modules and mine was the last - which kinda came as a blessing cuz everyone was super tired already. So my turn came, and GOD GOD GOD seriously I am just SO embarrassed but I kinda need to get all this out of my chest.
I squeaked.
HAHAHA. FARK. Not exactly squeaked la, but I kinda spoke in this singalong tone which feels so ELEMENTARY presentation AND FARK I dunno the more I think about it I'm like shit shit shit. Okay anyway I explained a bit and they started shooting questions. Thankfully Danny and CS stepped up to answer a lot of them so I'm kinda like super relieved at that. In the end I think I spoke 3 sentences at most? Yeah. I suck.
Anywayyy at the end I was supposed to ask one of the business users, Fitri, on the requirements and god knows I decided to speak ask in Malay. Cuz they were all mostly Malays and I had this little goal in me to speak in Malay as much as I can so I confidently went to him and asked something, in Malay.
Something, because I myself don't understand what I asked. It went something like
Me : Um Fitri, (insert some gibberish in Malay)
Fitri : Uhhh, kejap, aku cube nak fahamkan
Me : (talks more gibberish that I myself don't understand in Malay)
Fitri : Kejap kejap bagi aku cuba fahamkan
Me : (gives up and asks the question in English)
Fitri : Oh, yeah (answers cuz he can actually understand my inquiry)
Me : Oh okay (tries to run as far away as possible cuz FUCK ME I JUST KEEP EMBARASSING MYSELF)
So
That's it.
I dunno man. Even Jeanette speaks better Malay than me. Even Jimmy knows more peribahasa than me. All ze non-malays speaks super good Malay and okay, I can understand Malay pretty well but I think I will officially label myself as a someone who sucks in speaking Malay. I have no right to chastise my Chinese friends who dunno how to speak Chinese cuz I AM AN EMBARRASSMENT myself when it comes to speaking in Malay.
I hate myself.
Just speak in English at work Asma. Just speak English man. Don't embarrass yourself.
Kau nak cakap Malay tunggang langgang ngan kengkawan takpe la, tapi professionally just speak in English.
GOD.
So, after two years of not doing a presentation in front of a bunch of people, I was told to do one today. Furthermore the module that I am told to present is like, the hardest one - which in my opinion was not exactly the hardest if compared to them seniors modules, but they said mine is the heftiest. Well from the technical side, yes, but in terms of explaining in layman terms to the business side...maybe not so much?
Maybe I'm still half-cooked in this whole thing. Or still raw. Well I do tend to simplify things a lot when I can teehee
Anyway, I was full of nerves and jitters since last night when Danny texted me to say the presentation will be tomorrow- as in, today - and for some reason my heart just wouldn't stop beating hard. Like, super hard. To the extent that it gets hard to breathe and my neck just tenses up like hell cuz the sessions for them seniors were like so hardcore. The explained a little bit and the IT team and business users starts shooting questions here and there. We had 8 modules and mine was the last - which kinda came as a blessing cuz everyone was super tired already. So my turn came, and GOD GOD GOD seriously I am just SO embarrassed but I kinda need to get all this out of my chest.
I squeaked.
HAHAHA. FARK. Not exactly squeaked la, but I kinda spoke in this singalong tone which feels so ELEMENTARY presentation AND FARK I dunno the more I think about it I'm like shit shit shit. Okay anyway I explained a bit and they started shooting questions. Thankfully Danny and CS stepped up to answer a lot of them so I'm kinda like super relieved at that. In the end I think I spoke 3 sentences at most? Yeah. I suck.
Anywayyy at the end I was supposed to ask one of the business users, Fitri, on the requirements and god knows I decided to speak ask in Malay. Cuz they were all mostly Malays and I had this little goal in me to speak in Malay as much as I can so I confidently went to him and asked something, in Malay.
Something, because I myself don't understand what I asked. It went something like
Me : Um Fitri, (insert some gibberish in Malay)
Fitri : Uhhh, kejap, aku cube nak fahamkan
Me : (talks more gibberish that I myself don't understand in Malay)
Fitri : Kejap kejap bagi aku cuba fahamkan
Me : (gives up and asks the question in English)
Fitri : Oh, yeah (answers cuz he can actually understand my inquiry)
Me : Oh okay (tries to run as far away as possible cuz FUCK ME I JUST KEEP EMBARASSING MYSELF)
So
That's it.
I dunno man. Even Jeanette speaks better Malay than me. Even Jimmy knows more peribahasa than me. All ze non-malays speaks super good Malay and okay, I can understand Malay pretty well but I think I will officially label myself as a someone who sucks in speaking Malay. I have no right to chastise my Chinese friends who dunno how to speak Chinese cuz I AM AN EMBARRASSMENT myself when it comes to speaking in Malay.
I hate myself.
Just speak in English at work Asma. Just speak English man. Don't embarrass yourself.
Kau nak cakap Malay tunggang langgang ngan kengkawan takpe la, tapi professionally just speak in English.
GOD.
