almond milk but no waffles

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I was a MPH and randomly browsing books and my eyes fell on a small black book with the title 'milk and honey' by Rupi Kaur. My eyes went automatically to the top 10 bestsellers of the week and saw it was a number 3. Must be pretty good, I thought. I flipped through a few pages but I was struck on this one

Be careful of each word that rolls of your tongue when speaking

Then I flipped to the beginning and spent a good time reading till the middle of the book. Some parts were pretty graphic, and a good portion was on how adult women may be broken by their environment when they were a child which led to their current state at the moment - whatever it may be. This part was part one of the book, the next part was on love - being in love and being loved. She elaborated on the selfless love of a parent, adoring partners, her own love for her partner, and self love. I loved that even though it seemed like a 'feminist' kinda book, it helps to remind us women of our own strength and how all the things that we have gone through makes us who we are and we are not at fault. Nothing of us is a fault, and we need to embrace and love ourselves in order to be strong and fight against all the negativity in our life. I didn't get to the to the third part though.  

I almost bought this book, had I not have enough cash on me at that moment.

I was feeling kinda miffed with my family cuz they wanted me to ditch Puteh - the cat I saved but he has a bowel problem whereby he kinda doesn't realize it when he poops or pees - which leds to everyday we need to clean the porch cuz that's where we put the food and where he sleeps at night or during the day so we get butt stamps or poop or cat pee....and they don't like it. OK. I get it. It's smelly and dirty. But is it a legit cause to ditch the cat somewhere? I thought about it a lot, because I too feel guilty that I brought this upon the house - BUT - I can't leave him just anywhere cuz if I left him at a market or shop area he's bound to get kicked or even killed cuz he has a smelly butt. There are no cat sanctuaries in Malaysia that is like King's Cat House on the Hills.I even thought about taking him for animal acupuncture but I am not confident that it will rip a hole in my wallet, like a black hole, literally. I feel so bad for him but I am so mad at my family for even suggesting that we ditch him somewhere random. Because just the thought of him being hated everywhere else makes me so sad. 

:( 

Going through a major change at work and still deciding whether it's good or not. Anyhoo I need to update my resume soon. Some days I feel like 'You can do this Asma'!' but other this I'm like 'OMG You are so insignificant and useless here Roro'. On the latter days I feel like burying myself away. 

Btw, I've been into these Korean twins Q2HAN on Youtube. They graduated from FIDM (Fashion Institude of Design and Merchandising) LA, California and their English is da bomb. I kinda just have a thing for Asians speaking English as a second language (or first). Since I tend to speak in English at most times and my Malay is kinda....untrustworthy (as most my foreign friends would say) I just tend to like these people who speak English so effortlessly *flips hair* Anyhoo on top of that they like to talk about fashion a lot, go cafe hopping and have a thing for aesthetic interiors , and of course they have great fashion sense- which all that I love to do but rarely have a chance to do so I enjoy their vlogs a lot. I used to do it a lot but then most of my friends started to get married and have kids and like I mentioned before - I tend to shy away from asking them out a lot cuz they have their husbands and kids to be responsible for and I totally understand that. We still meet sometimes but there's kinda a limit and their husbands always join...so it's kinda like...not the usual anymore. It's all good though, I understand.  

On the topic of marriage, I myself am not bothered but people around me are kinda bothered, I guess. Hmm, I can't really say. I went through too much shit with relationships that I kinda just don't want one right now. So to be honest, I've been avoiding it. I will heal and be a better person for my partner and by that I want him to be my partner in life and hereafter too. 

Time seems to be going by slowly these days though. 

I was planning out our trip in September and kinda am confused on what or where to go on each day. Usually I plan for the family and they're like either just follow my plans or they just randomly do what they want based on the itinerary I created - by that I mean they pick and choose what they wanna do on what day. During the trip to Jogja...we all seem to have our own places preferred to go and managed to fit in. Now...hm, maybe we to meet up and plan properly this time. Usually when we meet up with the intention to plan the trip always ends up as forgetting to plan the trip >_<

Girls will be girls. 

Hey, you. 

Yes you. 

Despite all this, you're here, you've made it. If there are more obstacles in the future and things may seem hard, remember that it will all pass. This world is just temporary after all. Just, do your best.