.
It's only afternoon but I feel like I have a lot of things to get off my chest.
First, on being pushed into things that you are not totally prepared or pre-empted for.
I get it, you don't know how to swim, you get pushed into the water against your will, they leave you floundering and says they will help you just so you don't die from drowning and that is how you LEARN. It's a fucking learning process. Now, where have I heard of this? Oh yes, my shitty boss in my previous company. When I first heard it, I was irked, like what the fuck. Then I paced myself, okay, we can do this, let's learn. You gotta learn shit anyway. Okay I did it. Fast forward to now, I am hearing the same thing, and my reaction is the same. But, I am trying to pace myself better now so that my turnaround time is faster.
Haih. What happened was, there was a meeting and I was suddenly put on the spot and somehow I didn't respond well cuz I have no idea whats' what and probably getting some negative shit in my tray but I just have to bounce back from it. Kinda hating it.
Now I have another meeting in half an hour and hope this one is better.
I dunno but working from home is starting to have its pushy moments and I am not handling it well right now. And some people are just plain RUDE okay. Excuse moi but you're not the only important one here.
I keep thinking about how what I am doing and what is my job scope based on my job grade is not balanced and I feel so angry about it, and that is why I'm having all this reluctance. I KNOW. It's NOT good to think that way, but it feels so unfair at the same time. It's something I need to talk with my boss about and not in a complaining way - tho what they like to say at the end is "You can always take this as a challenge". YES I am and I am trying to take it positively and I will always do my best, but at one point I'm having enough challenges in my tray and too many challenges can cause a person to break down. Especially when suddenly thrown into a 'challenge' and not equipped at ALL. If this is a jungle, I am just thrown in without a knife at least, how? I will just die la if suddenly kena with a lion. Summore I'm fat cannot run so far what. Lion tu sedap2 la makan.
If anything I'll just end up crying and submitting my resignation, if I do have to be at a standpoint with a lion.
And fight with le fiance is not getting any better and I fucking hate him as well for being unfair to me too. Mel says, if you fight it means you love each other, and you need fights to keep the relationship going, and YES I GET YOU MEL, but this is so fucking annoying and it's not my fucking fault so why do I have to be unfairly treated. And our marriage is so uncertain right now and I have no idea what to do.
*screams*
I don't feel okay today, I don't. I just need for the weekend to come, so I can not have work and actually make a list of all the things I am bothered about and how to deal with it and the emotional sandstorm that is raging inside of me.
On another note, gloves and milk arrived from Lazada. Hell yeah. I can make my coffee, and I can go to giant without being worried about touching all the stuff and not having any protection.
Positive vibes and all that shit.
It's only afternoon but I feel like I have a lot of things to get off my chest.
First, on being pushed into things that you are not totally prepared or pre-empted for.
I get it, you don't know how to swim, you get pushed into the water against your will, they leave you floundering and says they will help you just so you don't die from drowning and that is how you LEARN. It's a fucking learning process. Now, where have I heard of this? Oh yes, my shitty boss in my previous company. When I first heard it, I was irked, like what the fuck. Then I paced myself, okay, we can do this, let's learn. You gotta learn shit anyway. Okay I did it. Fast forward to now, I am hearing the same thing, and my reaction is the same. But, I am trying to pace myself better now so that my turnaround time is faster.
Haih. What happened was, there was a meeting and I was suddenly put on the spot and somehow I didn't respond well cuz I have no idea whats' what and probably getting some negative shit in my tray but I just have to bounce back from it. Kinda hating it.
Now I have another meeting in half an hour and hope this one is better.
I dunno but working from home is starting to have its pushy moments and I am not handling it well right now. And some people are just plain RUDE okay. Excuse moi but you're not the only important one here.
I keep thinking about how what I am doing and what is my job scope based on my job grade is not balanced and I feel so angry about it, and that is why I'm having all this reluctance. I KNOW. It's NOT good to think that way, but it feels so unfair at the same time. It's something I need to talk with my boss about and not in a complaining way - tho what they like to say at the end is "You can always take this as a challenge". YES I am and I am trying to take it positively and I will always do my best, but at one point I'm having enough challenges in my tray and too many challenges can cause a person to break down. Especially when suddenly thrown into a 'challenge' and not equipped at ALL. If this is a jungle, I am just thrown in without a knife at least, how? I will just die la if suddenly kena with a lion. Summore I'm fat cannot run so far what. Lion tu sedap2 la makan.
If anything I'll just end up crying and submitting my resignation, if I do have to be at a standpoint with a lion.
And fight with le fiance is not getting any better and I fucking hate him as well for being unfair to me too. Mel says, if you fight it means you love each other, and you need fights to keep the relationship going, and YES I GET YOU MEL, but this is so fucking annoying and it's not my fucking fault so why do I have to be unfairly treated. And our marriage is so uncertain right now and I have no idea what to do.
*screams*
I don't feel okay today, I don't. I just need for the weekend to come, so I can not have work and actually make a list of all the things I am bothered about and how to deal with it and the emotional sandstorm that is raging inside of me.
On another note, gloves and milk arrived from Lazada. Hell yeah. I can make my coffee, and I can go to giant without being worried about touching all the stuff and not having any protection.
Positive vibes and all that shit.
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