No I Did Not Go For Liposuction

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Well, my surgery went fine! It's two weeks post operation now and I am doing okay, I guess. Doc gave me 3 weeks off from the day of surgery and I am entering the last week of my recuperation period and is doing good I guess.

How is the whole process?

Okay so, I checked into the ward on Sunday evening, and had to fast starting at 12AM till the operation on Monday. The anesthetic doctor came to see me to explain the whole anesthesia process and side effects where they will put a tube through my throat to my stomach to drug my tummy during the surgey and got me to sign some stuff. Side effects after the anesthesia included nausea, vomiting, hard to breathe ( because my lungs shrank a bit during the time the anesthesia goes thru my body) and a few others I don't remember.

Then my doctor came and asked me how I was and explained again how the surgery will go. At this point I didn't feel much but I couldn't really sleep, being at a new place and all. The next day, hospitals being hospitals, and the surgery ended up starting around 1:30PM. I had to get butt naked and get into the white operation robe, laid on the bed and let them wheel me to the operation theater (OT). Inside was freaking cold. I kept thinking about those medical dramas I watched and wondering if it were like that, but NOOOO, the journey was more dingy and noisy than expected. Felt so vulnerable and scared. Thankfully most of the docs and nurses were so kind (I guess they sorta get it that I'm scared stiff about them poking inside my stomach and cutting it up and stuff).

Anyway once they got you asleep, you're gone. I didn't feel a thing. All I remember is waking up on the bed and groaning cuz my stomach was having this searing pain and I was crying and saying 'It hurts, it hurts'. It was all sorts of hazy (is this what it feels to be high muhaha). I remember vaguely nurses came to check on me and injected me with painkillers and tried to soothe me. Then I was out again haha. Next thing I know I was in my room and my mom was next to me asking me if I'm okay.

My operation wounds were covered with band aids, but my stomach was a bit swollen on one side. It hurts he most on the left side, and doc said that was the biggest wound because that's where the tools had to penetrate 3 levels of muscles before reaching the stomach and it is also where they take out the the cut stomach.

It hurts, but I won't say it's not bearable. Initially my pain threshold is already pretty low. I'm a crybaby. So yeah, I was in pain but not to the point of crying. My mouth felt dry and it was hard to breathe cuz every time your stomach moves you get a jolt of pain. I was not allowed to drink or eat anything for the first 2 days, only medications. I was pretty weak. Couldn't even prop myself up on the bed without help and cannot even go to the toilet. Two times I had to pee and had to call the nurse to help me pee in a container and she wipes my privates clean. Oh I don't think I can ever recover from that horror.

Doc and his team will come visit and check up on you everyday and nurses will come in every few hours to check your blood, blood pressure and give you medications if needed. Food comes even though you cannot eat, so mom eats em. Trust me, after the operation, the smell of food just makes you wanna vomit. By the third day I just cannot stand all the hospital smells and dying to get home. I was not allowed to shower for 3 days dood. THANKFULLY, it was the day the doctor told me I can be discharged. He took out the band aids covering the operation wounds and sprayed some chemical stuff to make them waterproof and told me okay, you're good to go after the dietitian briefs you on your diet during recovery. Finally saw my operation wounds and was surprised it looked like nothing much. There are four thin lines in total. Two around 0.5 cm long and another two around 2cm long. Like cat scratches.

Dietitian came and explained all the four transitions of food that I have to go through while going thru recovery. First phase; liquid diet. Second phase; mashed/pureed diet. Third phase: Soft foods. Fourth phase: Slowly introducing normal food. My eating habits need to change. Chew many times and swallow slowly. Eat protein first in any case. The amount of food I can ingest is very small as compared to before so I need to pace myself. If I overeat, I will vomit.

Anyway, ALHAMDULLILAH I AM FINALLY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. Car ride was rough and bumpy and hurts but it was fine CUZ I AM GOING HOME BABY. The smell of air outside has never been so fresh and beautiful to me.  I'm telling you, just being able to take shower and sleep in my own bed, made me feel at least 30% better.

Into the third week, I have lost around 10kg since the pre-op and feeling a bit lighter on my feet. It doesn't hurt much unless I put a lot of pressure on it. Like lifting heavy stuff etc. Kinda got used to the new diet too. Given my original weight, it takes a lot moar to see any big changes on my body size I guess. Internally I feel better. It really is impossibru fo rme to eat a lot. I read that my stomach capacity is around 150ml, and my appetite inducing hormones are somewhat majorly lessened so I don't feel any craving to eat anything much. My stomach also can't expand much as the lining that usually expands is the one removed in the surgery. So, I really can't eat much. Downside is I am not used to the low amount of calories per day so my energy runs out pretty fast. I get pretty tired and groggy after walking around for half an hour maybe.

For example my diet as I move to the second phase are,

• Breakfast - 1 cup of soup or yogurt drink or milk or milo
• Lunch - soft egg tofu (around 100g) with thai sauce or smoothies
• Dinner - a glass of milk 

Will be having a follow up appointment with the doctor this Friday and gosh I kinda cannot wait to get back to my daily life. Tho I am considering if I need to order food from the kids menu now since I can't even finish a plate of food these days. I miss bread tho. Kept thinking about croissants and sourdough. Am also out and about these days to build up my stamina. Tried to drive today and it was okay too. I felt jolts of pain sometimes but not hurting like super hurting. If I have to compare, the first week of surgery I felt like I kept being stabbed deeply and as the days go its as if he stabber got gentle and stabbed me less deeply haha.

Or at least what I imagine being stabbed by a knife feels like. 

XD

All Milk and No Rice

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My pre-operation checkup went fine. Doc said I had signs of early diabetes but it will be okay along side the operation. So, now I am into 3 days of pre-op diet...and I am starting to feel the struggle.

Pre-op diet consists of drinking protein milk 4 times a day and this supposedly sums up my calorie count for the whole day to be 800kcal. While it was no issue for me to take up drinking the milk and no issues in term of food temptations, I was starting to become quite sick of the drink. So....I took it upon myself to have a cheat meal this weekend. (Doc and the dietitian would not like to hear that I bet) But then starting Monday I will be back on the protein diet...until the surgery, which is in another 7 days or so.

I dunno what to expect though. I had my first experience of being 'asleep' while they were doing the endoscopy and it was kinda surreal. One moment I was awake and trying to get used to the mouth gag thingy they had on me so I won't bite on the endoscopy camera, the next moment I was waking up to these 2 nurses wheeling me away to another room. I did vaguely remember some sensations of things being poked into my mouth and my saliva running out from the side of my mouth but it felt like a dream, cuz I can't totally remember anything happening. Just weird sensations here and there.

It was pretty surreal.

I wondered if the operation is gonna be like that too.

I dunno. Wish me well peeps.

Work has been meh. I am starting to feel more useless at work because there's too many things to do, and things gotta be done fast, and not all of us (i.e. me) have the skills or knowledge for stuffs, and it always ended up the seniors doing all the work. So I felt useless and kinda unmotivated, plus I felt like I'm not learning much, so yeah. I wanted to get out of this job soon, hopefully. I jut need a bit more money in my savings so I can go in peace.

Bleh. 

Wrapping up 2017

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It's currently the first of January 2018, andddd around 38 minutes to the second of January of 2018 and I just couldn't sleep cuz I had a power nap of sorts in the evening and that usually screws up my night sleeping schedule, but I will be able to wake up normally in the morning, so, yeah.

Unimportant opening.

Anyway I couldn't go to sleep without verbally summarizing my year, which I think is the most epic year to-date in my life so far. As I kept saying on my instagram, 2017 was LIT.

Okay to start it off, let's go back to the last quarter of 2016 - when I was going thru a major shitty time. I was about to be engaged to this guy, let's name him K, but then shit happens and we broke-up and went our separate ways. Then Owen died, bitten by a stray dog. Owen, was probably the last cat of my current life. I loved him, we slept together everyday, we prayed together everyday and he was somehow always there when I was down. Seriously. I could be sad or stressed out and was lying on the bed and he would suddenly march in and jumped on me as if telling me, its ok human, I'm here, I love you. So when he died, I was just....crazy heartbroken.

I was in a very bad state of mind, and kinda just threw myself into work at the time. Thankfully there was a shitload to do (until now tho) and it took my mind off of things and helped me slowly recover and get back on my feet. It was around after my birthday I guess (my birthday is on the last day of the year, so go figure) and I decided 2017 is going to be the year where I focus on ME. I wasn't going to hold back and the first thing I did was book me a flight to Osaka, Japan, with mom and sis.

Fast forward a few months and the three of us was on the plane to Japan! It was damn exhilarating, I'm telling you. Even though I can say I've lived in Japan when I was small, there was a limit to what I wanted and can do. Heck, I didn't even know what I can do at the time, because I feel in love with Japan AFTER I came back. I was around 10 years old at the time, so what did you expect this 10 year old to do in life? She just went to school, made friends, had family time, eat and enjoyed life day by day. We were in Osaka for 3 days, and then took the Shinkansen to Kyoto. I am telling you now, it was not enough. 3 days each in each region was NOT enough for me to cover everything. I wish to go again this year, and spend a lot more time.

This was where I bought my first NMD's and just fell in love and went YOLO-ed and ended up with 3 pairs just this year. (Don't ask me how much it all encompasses to)

Came back, and within weeks, managed to plan out another trip to Yogyakarta with Jie, Zera, Mel and Sangeeta. Bam, that WAS not in my year itinerary but heck, I wanted to just travel everywhere  that year and I went YOLO and leggo. It was another epic journey. We went during Wesak and Jogja being a region where most of the people are Buddhist, so the holiday was a huge deal. Our supir (driver) managed to get us tickets to join the lantern releasing at THE Borobudur Temple. The crowd was crazy packed and gosh we were stuck in a damn human tsunami but it was worth it to see what I felt one of the most beautiful rituals in the world. As people release the countless of lanterns laced with their earnest wishes, the lights float up and gradually become what seemed likes small fireflies in the darkened sky. I climbed the Borobudur later the next day, and even went on a crazy gondola ride across the raging sea at Timang Beach. Leap of faith much? YES. I was half - thinking, if I died here, it was my fate to do so. Food, was amazing and what more can I say about my travel companions but not the best I've had. Fucking love these girls to bits. Oh yeah, and that epic jeep ride up Mt. Merapi? Priceless.

Then it was Ramadhan, and Syawal. We had the celebration in Kedah this year, and...well, I'd be honest with you and say I never really got along well with them Kedah peeps, and I have my reasons I guess. It was a kinda a non-event thing for me. Mostly me and my siblings hung out at malls or cafes ( as if we didn't hang out at enuff back home ) or I took one of my other cousins who was into photography as me and we kinda just went for a photowalk. I had tons of the pretty street of Alor Star which I never posted anywhere cuz the timing was never right. So, yeah.

Then, somehow on a whim after talking with my sis (on how break-ups doesn't have to mean you can't contact each other again, or hate the other person and we parted ways with mutual feelings anyway so yeah why don't you contact him again sis since you always felt that it was a shit thing that I had to lose a friend over this) I will admit, even after all the shit, K is someone I truly love and cherish. Partly because back in high school and early uni-days I was really depressed and was prone to self-harm and he helped me a lot in overcoming my depression (tho he might not know this in detail) so I just couldn't hate him or not have him in my life. It's just this feeling I have. I don't know about him though. He might have different thoughts, but it's okay. Another part is maybe just because we shared a lot of ourselves after all these years, that it became ingrained in both of us. I read a saying once, how once you truly have someone's heart, they never really go away.

Anyway I called him up and we're friends again. It started off awkwardly but it's a bit better now. So if you see a Malay guy in my social feed sometimes, he's probably one of them.

Sometime in the middle here before I went to Korea I sprained my left ankle playing at JumpStreet.

Moving forward, I think it was around May or June, me and Aleea made plans to go to Korea. Bam, September came and we flew and WE HAD A BLAST. My first time staying at a guesthouse (it was cool as heck)  and found out I'm not that scared of dogs after all. There was this cute doggie named Jelly at the guesthouse and he was the gentlest animal ever and well, I think I will be okay around dogs. Korea was lit, and we went literally everywhere we could. Had major delish foods,  saw amazing architecture, hung out like a local, wore a damn hanbok around and acted as if we were princesses and fueled our kpop love HAHAHAHA. Still think there are tons of places we couldn't cover and have to come back sometime in he future.

All that travelling kinda went by in a flash.

Rewind back to earlier in the year, I was part of the support team at work, which was when I had to deal with clients and system issues directly and when I came back from Korea they told me I'll be transferred to the project team. Well, to be honest my working schedule was pretty much....bad. When there are issues, we have to come to work a bit earlier than usual, perhaps around 8 or 830, but then we go back super late almost everyday - around 10PM on average - which by that time were are hungry and always ate late. Of course when I'm stress I eat sweets and desserts so that did not help. Basically to protect my mental health I sort of forgot about my physical health. So after around a year plus...I ended up with a few health problems i.e. hypertension, sleep apnea, acid reflux just to name a few.

Which leads to tomorrow where I am going for pre-operation for a sleeve gastrectomy on my stomach - which hopefully will help to reduce a ton of my health complications. Mom is helping me to pay my way through as the surgery and hospital bills won't be cheap. So I guess I won't be travelling much this year. Perhaps one place will be okay. I hope to move forward in life too, maybe get a new job which allows me to take care of myself better, or maybe other things. I do have to start planning things though. There is no harm in planning. If God allows it, then my plans will go through InsyaAllah.

AM SUPER GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE WITH ME, LIFTING ME UP WHEN I'M DOWN, AND PARTIED WITH ME WHEN I'M UP

I MUCHO LOVE ALL OF YOU <3

To wrap it up, 2017 was the year where I focused on my mental health but physically I'm pretty screwed up. I have no regrets though. This year, I need to be more balanced. Yep, the theme will have to be BALANCE.

I will try to start blogging more this year. XD

Mucho love,

Roro X

Stwess

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I'm feeling so down lately I just don't know what to do with things. Like, on the outside I'm trying so hard to act like nothing's wrong cuz when if people ask I actually do not know, I repeat, DO NOT know what's going on with me.

It's all inside there. Swirling and whirling and groaning. God knows. Like I'm possessed or something.

I need hugs. And for hugs I miss Nabs or Chiwa or Fatin, but they are all SO SO SO far away right now, and just not possible.

Well to be honest I am in a pre-PMS phase. My menstrual cycle is just so weird cuz I get so moody before and after the whole period thing and usually it's hardly this bad, but I guess this time it's super bad. I am quite stressed and my period is like 2 days late- according to the period calendar thing and my mood has been a hurricane. Work has been hectic and I keep not getting work done and god knows my schedule is just so SCREWED up which is why I am mostly stressed cuz I like to be ON schedule.

I kinda try to not use the word 'stress' all the time but I am. Seriously I am.

It's almost 2PM at home and I am not starting any work done. I am planning to play Spirited Away on my home laptop while I do my shit but I don't have VLC or codec yet on my home laptop cuz I formatted it the other day so I don't have anything on it. So I'm not starting my work yet, cuz Spirited Away is not playing yet. HA. Alasan. But really I have to finish this task by today cuz tomorrow I'm supposed to start on another shit so yeah. And that other shit is pretty urgent and super duper important apparently so I need to finish THIS shit first. Then I still have to do code review for the newbies's task and help the other newbie with her task which I could not get to it yet.

Danny said not to spoon fed them but heck I'm learning while I'm teaching them too so there's that.
There's this new kid who doesn't know Java at all and god knows how he managed to get into this role and I am the one having a headache cuz I dunno how to handle this. LIKE DOOD I KENOT LIKE TEACH THIS GUY A WHOLE JAVA COURSE I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME WHAT IS A DESCRIPTOR CLASS FUCK

Anyway I got all irritated and kinda went strict on him cuz fuck this is work, not some uni life so he better get his shit together and learn fast if he doesn't want to get kicked out - well I said something along the lines 'if you don't buck up and do your shit fast it's gonna get bad for you and I got nothing to lose if you're not around anyway' so I dunno if he got that or not so yeah. He's been pestering this other guy to help him with his task cuz obviously I scared him off but fuck I don't care anymore. Okay, why am I so irritated with him? He asked for this job cuz he did some html editing before - like SUPER MINOR okay and he thought that was PROGRAMMING

DOOD

FAK

I was like ' YOU DARE TO LOOK DOWN ON PROGRAMMING?'

I had a hard time looking for jobs after Masters and my Java ain't that good either, I mean, just basic while people in the industry are expecting miracles just because you have a Masters but God no, we don't know that much, Masters and PhD peeps are more towards research rather than actual hands on stuff so...I had asked one of the Professors last time,d o they know what is SAP and they were like, WHAT and they don't seem to know the ERP stuff...I'm like OOOOOKAY. Anyway back to my story, I was searching for jobs and I went to this one place and because I got Masters they seem to be having high expectations on me and when I couldn't really cater to their expectations, I was told by one of the technical leads there that I should quit programming.

My world kinda broke down at the time.

I didn't think I would do other things than programming, ya know.

So yeah. I guess I kinda got irritated that these kinda people get it easy while me...I have to be like this.

Haih.

Anyway that's that. My VLC is working already so I'mma start work.

Yes I guess I'm gonna be bitch this week or something. 

When You Suck In Your Native Tongue

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So, after two years of not doing a presentation in front of a bunch of people, I was told to do one today. Furthermore the module that I am told to present is like, the hardest one - which in my opinion was not exactly the hardest if compared to them seniors modules, but they said mine is the heftiest. Well from the technical side, yes, but in terms of explaining in layman terms to the business side...maybe not so much?

Maybe I'm still half-cooked in this whole thing. Or still raw. Well I do tend to simplify things a lot when I can teehee

Anyway, I was full of nerves and jitters since last night when Danny texted me to say the presentation will be tomorrow- as in, today - and for some reason my heart just wouldn't stop beating hard. Like, super hard. To the extent that it gets hard to breathe and my neck just tenses up like hell cuz the sessions for them seniors were like so hardcore. The explained a little bit and the IT team and business users starts shooting questions here and there. We had 8 modules and mine was the last - which kinda came as a blessing cuz everyone was super tired already. So my turn came, and GOD GOD GOD seriously I am just SO embarrassed but I kinda need to get all this out of my chest.

I squeaked.

HAHAHA. FARK. Not exactly squeaked la, but I kinda spoke in this singalong tone which feels so ELEMENTARY presentation AND FARK I dunno the more I think about it I'm like shit shit shit. Okay anyway I explained a bit and they started shooting questions. Thankfully Danny and CS stepped up to answer a lot of them so I'm kinda like super relieved at that. In the end I think I spoke 3 sentences at most? Yeah. I suck.

Anywayyy at the end I was supposed to ask one of the business users, Fitri, on the requirements and god knows I decided to speak ask in Malay. Cuz they were all mostly Malays and I had this little goal in me to speak in Malay as much as I can so I confidently went to him and asked something, in Malay.

Something, because I myself don't understand what I asked. It went something like

Me : Um Fitri, (insert some gibberish in Malay)
Fitri : Uhhh, kejap, aku cube nak fahamkan
Me : (talks more gibberish that I myself don't understand in Malay)
Fitri : Kejap kejap bagi aku cuba fahamkan
Me : (gives up and asks the question in English)
Fitri : Oh, yeah (answers cuz he can actually understand my inquiry)
Me : Oh okay (tries to run as far away as possible cuz FUCK ME I JUST KEEP EMBARASSING MYSELF)

So


That's it.

I dunno man. Even Jeanette speaks better Malay than me. Even Jimmy knows more peribahasa than me. All ze non-malays speaks super good Malay and okay, I can understand Malay pretty well but I think I will officially label myself as a someone who sucks in speaking Malay. I have no right to chastise my Chinese friends who dunno how to speak Chinese cuz I AM AN EMBARRASSMENT myself when it comes to speaking in Malay.

I hate myself.

Just speak in English at work Asma. Just speak English man. Don't embarrass yourself.
Kau nak cakap Malay tunggang langgang ngan kengkawan takpe la, tapi professionally just speak in English.

GOD.

almond milk but no waffles

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I was a MPH and randomly browsing books and my eyes fell on a small black book with the title 'milk and honey' by Rupi Kaur. My eyes went automatically to the top 10 bestsellers of the week and saw it was a number 3. Must be pretty good, I thought. I flipped through a few pages but I was struck on this one

Be careful of each word that rolls of your tongue when speaking

Then I flipped to the beginning and spent a good time reading till the middle of the book. Some parts were pretty graphic, and a good portion was on how adult women may be broken by their environment when they were a child which led to their current state at the moment - whatever it may be. This part was part one of the book, the next part was on love - being in love and being loved. She elaborated on the selfless love of a parent, adoring partners, her own love for her partner, and self love. I loved that even though it seemed like a 'feminist' kinda book, it helps to remind us women of our own strength and how all the things that we have gone through makes us who we are and we are not at fault. Nothing of us is a fault, and we need to embrace and love ourselves in order to be strong and fight against all the negativity in our life. I didn't get to the to the third part though.  

I almost bought this book, had I not have enough cash on me at that moment.

I was feeling kinda miffed with my family cuz they wanted me to ditch Puteh - the cat I saved but he has a bowel problem whereby he kinda doesn't realize it when he poops or pees - which leds to everyday we need to clean the porch cuz that's where we put the food and where he sleeps at night or during the day so we get butt stamps or poop or cat pee....and they don't like it. OK. I get it. It's smelly and dirty. But is it a legit cause to ditch the cat somewhere? I thought about it a lot, because I too feel guilty that I brought this upon the house - BUT - I can't leave him just anywhere cuz if I left him at a market or shop area he's bound to get kicked or even killed cuz he has a smelly butt. There are no cat sanctuaries in Malaysia that is like King's Cat House on the Hills.I even thought about taking him for animal acupuncture but I am not confident that it will rip a hole in my wallet, like a black hole, literally. I feel so bad for him but I am so mad at my family for even suggesting that we ditch him somewhere random. Because just the thought of him being hated everywhere else makes me so sad. 

:( 

Going through a major change at work and still deciding whether it's good or not. Anyhoo I need to update my resume soon. Some days I feel like 'You can do this Asma'!' but other this I'm like 'OMG You are so insignificant and useless here Roro'. On the latter days I feel like burying myself away. 

Btw, I've been into these Korean twins Q2HAN on Youtube. They graduated from FIDM (Fashion Institude of Design and Merchandising) LA, California and their English is da bomb. I kinda just have a thing for Asians speaking English as a second language (or first). Since I tend to speak in English at most times and my Malay is kinda....untrustworthy (as most my foreign friends would say) I just tend to like these people who speak English so effortlessly *flips hair* Anyhoo on top of that they like to talk about fashion a lot, go cafe hopping and have a thing for aesthetic interiors , and of course they have great fashion sense- which all that I love to do but rarely have a chance to do so I enjoy their vlogs a lot. I used to do it a lot but then most of my friends started to get married and have kids and like I mentioned before - I tend to shy away from asking them out a lot cuz they have their husbands and kids to be responsible for and I totally understand that. We still meet sometimes but there's kinda a limit and their husbands always join...so it's kinda like...not the usual anymore. It's all good though, I understand.  

On the topic of marriage, I myself am not bothered but people around me are kinda bothered, I guess. Hmm, I can't really say. I went through too much shit with relationships that I kinda just don't want one right now. So to be honest, I've been avoiding it. I will heal and be a better person for my partner and by that I want him to be my partner in life and hereafter too. 

Time seems to be going by slowly these days though. 

I was planning out our trip in September and kinda am confused on what or where to go on each day. Usually I plan for the family and they're like either just follow my plans or they just randomly do what they want based on the itinerary I created - by that I mean they pick and choose what they wanna do on what day. During the trip to Jogja...we all seem to have our own places preferred to go and managed to fit in. Now...hm, maybe we to meet up and plan properly this time. Usually when we meet up with the intention to plan the trip always ends up as forgetting to plan the trip >_<

Girls will be girls. 

Hey, you. 

Yes you. 

Despite all this, you're here, you've made it. If there are more obstacles in the future and things may seem hard, remember that it will all pass. This world is just temporary after all. Just, do your best.

Forget Cinderella's Glass Shoes

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I'm a low key Adidas sneakerhead. I like sneakers, and I like Adidas the most. Might have something to do with my dad's influence and I used to ban Nike back then and sorta can't bring myself to like it. Plus Nike and Adidas is kinda like big rivals, and I'm a loyal chick man. Adidas all the way. I do indulge in Puma or Converse once in a while though. I had an interest in the classic Vans but never really went as far as buying them.

Anyway last weekend I was trying to get my maksu to try my NMD's and she introduced me to this guy's instagram page - supposedly is a far away family member (can't remember which side) but he's a sneakerhead, lives in UK, super rich so he gets access to these exclusive kicks pretty easily. So I was lying in bed and scrolling through his feed and came across the Primeknit 'Datamosh' NMD R1. Price MYR2100. None my size though.

Okay, I was totally interested in this pair when they first announced but then it was one of those collaborative pair and totally exclusive and I dunno maybe it's the nerd in me when I read that the inspiration was datamoshing — a process of manipulating the data of media files in order to achieve visual or auditory effects when the files are decoded - I was totally sold. I WANTED IT.

BUT

I am a realistic person. I admit I get a thrill in acquiring things that are 'exclusives' or 'limited editions'. No it's not for showing off. I get this satisfaction. When I tell people this, usually they just scoff but whatever man - I like what I like and you can shove your opinions somewhere else.

Nway, I gave up on it soon after because:

1) It's a collab pair
2) It's exclusive as heck
3) Only released at certain stores over the world
4) With limited quantities
5) Resell price will reach 4 digits in MYR fo sho.

It's beautiful guise

But why of all of Adidas's models, I'm hooked on the NMD's? Why not Ultra Boosts, SuperStar, Campus, Stan Smiths or Tubulars?

Well, Ultra Boosts look very sporty. Mom has one and I wore them from time to time- comfy as heck, felt like walking on clouds but I can't really feel appropriately dressed sometimes. I do like Campus, Super Stars and Stan Smiths but they will be around for a while so there's no urgency to get them when they're out. I had a Stan Smith and a Super Star when they first introduced it and lasted me for all of 5 years until it broke. Since I used it pretty much everyday. Tubulars - I do dig - just haven't had that bamm-gotta-have-it moment like I do when I see NMDs. Oh oh, how about Yeezys? Same reasons as to why I gave up on the 'Datamosh' NMDs. Design wise - Yeezys are pretty dope and I am probably on the hype bandwagon but so far the only color ways I like is the BREDs and the new Beluga 2.0. The other's are pretty much meh color ways. Another thing is the amount of fakes out there. Bleargh. I'd still join the online raffles though hehe. I mean if I can resell them for double the price, why not? NMDs are like, just nice. Match with many things. TEEHEE.

SNEAKERS LAST LONG PEOPLE. FOR YEARS. My sandals all after a month rosak dy and need to buy one. Okla bohong, maybe a few months. But the amount of moolahs I spend for 5 years for sandals is more than I use for sneaks. SO
Imagine all the sneaks I can buy.
But I still need sandals. For girly days and work days and days I wanna feel tall.

HEHE.

Nway I will not shop this month!
It's my mantra everytime I see things I want.

(I do have this blouse I want from Poplook tho XD)

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.